We all know the story. Two football players from Stuebenville, Ohio were recently found guilty of raping a girl last summer. They will be going to jail, and their lives as they know it is over.
Excuse me while I cry for them. Wait, that’s right, I’m not crying for them. I don’t feel sorry for them. Should I?
This case has been littered with phrases like “those poor boys” and “they’re only kids” and “they had promising careers.”
What about the girl they violated? She was only a kid. She may have also had a promising future. In my view, the only “poor” one, the only one who deserves sympathy, is her.
Instead, she gets comments that are along the lines of “she shouldn’t have been drinking” or “she was well known for being a drunk” and others that I cannot put in print.
Why is society geared toward blaming the victims of rape rather than the rapists? When women go out, they’re expected to follow some type of unwritten code so they don’t get raped.
- Don’t drink alone.
- Don’t go out alone.
- Never leave a drink unattended.
- Don’t get drunk.
- Dress modestly.
There are so many other unwritten rules for women. Yet, even if someone were following those “rules”, and were to still get raped, then society still blames her. She must have led him on. She shouldn’t have flirted with him.
What people don’t get is rape isn’t about what kind of clothes one wears, or how drunk one acts. To the rapist, the act of rape is all about control and power. The rapist has control and power over the victim, not only when the rape occurs, but for the rest of the victim’s life. More than likely, he will get away with what he’s done, while she suffers the consequences forever.
So why aren’t we blaming the rapist? Well, it’s simple. It’s because we’re not teaching our sons not to rape. We assume that they’ll know with life experience, but in a world where we blame the victim instead of the rapist, how will they know rape is wrong?
In my opinion, I don’t care if a girl was topless and obviously drunk. If she says no to sex, then she means no. We shouldn’t have to have rules for women and girls to follow while they’re out. They should be able to have enough faith in humanity to be able to go out for a fun night without worrying if Joe Blow down the way is going to rape them or not.
Comment below with your opinions. Have we as a society gone too far with the victim blaming?